Baby’s First Birthday Celebration

Well, I can honestly say that I am so happy that the birthday celebration has come and gone.  It was stressful.  It was also bittersweet.  While he is still considered to be an infant, it appears he has crossed over some form of rites of passage and is not a little toddler. 

The week of his birthday started out with a hair cut from Daddy, which was very painful for me.  Of course, he screamed and cried and fell asleep while it was being done.  I just don’t like to hear him cry like that.  Daddy maintained his composure as usual and was quite irritated by my presence.  When he was finished, I picked up my little teddy bear and bathed him and it brought tears to my eyes to see him looking totally different.  He did not look like a baby anymore.  It made me feel sad. I saved a locket of his hair in his keepsake box.  It seemed like yesterday that he was born with a head full of hair.  Now he has a short curly cut.

I finalized my menu and head count a few days before the party and did all of the shopping.  I decided to have barbecue chicken wingettes, potato salad, garden salad, fruit salad, cake, and punch.  I was on a tight budget and was very careful with my expenses.  The baby’s god mother blessed us with a birthday cake.  I was so thankful.  There were going to only be three children his age there.  I knew that the parents would feed the children their normal diets at home.  I made sure that I had fruit snacks, yogurt, and juice for them.  Decorations were very simple and affordable.  I kept to a 1st birthday theme purchased at a local party store.  I bought a purple and gold crown for the little prince’s head.  We charged up the batteries on the video camera to record birthday wishes from each of the guests that attended.

On the baby’s big day, I received two phone calls from guests that they would not be able to come because of illness.  Our first guest came with their baby and we were able to have good conversation about baby signing and were able to see the progress her son had made.  We were encouraged.  More guests came.  We blessed the food and everyone ate.  The children played, adults talked, and the atmosphere was great.  At least until I looked at the time and saw that the party was almost over and only three of my guests had come.  I looked at all of the food that was prepared and my heart just sank.  Twenty four people confirmed that they were going to attend and only eleven showed up.  One might ask why I was so upset that 13 people did not show up.  Well, everyone that knows me knows that things are tight right now.  They also know that I hate to waste food.  They also know that one of my pet peeves is not showing up somewhere that you have commited to.  I could have saved a lot of money and time if people would not try to flatter me by saying that they will attend my baby’s party and have no intention. 

At the end of the day, my son will not remember this day except for what we recorded on video later on.  I have to learn to let go and not be easily offended.  I have to be careful who I invite to events in the future.  Will I do this again?  Absolutely!  I love my boys.  I have learned my lesson and I will consider this when planning the next one.

First Hair Cut!

Why is it that the first hair cut is always so full of drama?  I wanted it to be a memorable moment for Israel, but instead it was horrible.  First of all, I wanted to do it myself with scissors, but my husband wanted to be the one to give his first hair cut.  I had to humble myself and submit, but it wasn’t without resistance and emotional breakdowns.  I was not satisfied with how he was doing it and with the tools that he was using.  He also cut it too low.  The baby was crying like he was being murdered.  In the end, it was okay.  A professional barber will have to perfect it, but my little boy emerged from underneath that pile of hair and he was so cute.  He cried himself to sleep and left us to marvel in this new person that we were seeing.  His head did not look so big now.  His head wasn’t shaped as funny as we thought it was.  We were relieved.  Yes, he got it cut a few days before his first birthday because we knew that we were going to be busy for the entire week. Yes, it was hard for him, but I am sure that he forgot it by now.  Would I do anything different?  Probably not.  I am glad that my husband will be able to say that he gave his son his first hair cut, because you better believe that I am rushing him off to the barber from now on!  God bless!

Planning Baby’s First Birthday Party

I remember my oldest son’s 1st birthday party almost 14 years ago.  It was a nightmare.  I bought party hats and confetti.  Streamers were all over the place.  I had games and had made food and bought an expensive icecream cake.  His birthday was one week before Christmas, so I guess it was ambitious of me to plan a party, but I did anyway.  None of the children that I knew were able to come.  Only the local children in the neighborhood that my sister invited had come and I did not even know them.  She wasn’t even able to make it.  What makes matters worse, their parents dropped them off and left.  How could you do that not knowing who you are leaving your child with?   The children were not even my son’s age.  They were between 4 and 6 years of age.  But the biggest problem that I had with the birthday party was that my 1 year old was not interested in attending.  He was snuggled up in his crib sleeping deeply for hours.  We finally went in to wake him and place him as the center of attention and he cried endlessly.  We put him back in his crib and had to face the task of entertaining a bunch of strange children.  He has no memory of that experience.

This baby will have something different.  I envision my close friends and family joining us in a mid afternoon lunch and celebrating our baby’s life.  You see, we were told to terminate at 20 weeks due to abnormalities in his brain.  Instead, we trusted God and prayed along with many around the world.  Now, our little toddler is perfectly normal with a perfectly normal brain.  We have so much to be thankful for.  So, we will eat good food, talk, and have our guest say something memorable on the video camera so that he can watch it when he is older and see how much he is loved.  There will be toys for them to play with.   The adults will fellowship, listen to good music and just appreciate God for what he has done. When he is older, he will be able to give his testimony of how God performed a miracle in his life.     By the way, I do want to decorate using a royal theme.  So, I am off to find my little prince a crown.  We are also planning to get professional pictures taken, as he hasn’t had any since he was 4 weeks old.  Shame on us, I know.  But, you better believe my Palm Pre has an endless number of shots of him.  God bless!

What Are You Feeding Your Toddlers?

I am a creature of habit and schedules.  I plan out my day to the tee, but I do allow room for flexibility.  I make sure that my baby gets his 24 oz of formula in each day, in addition to his three meals.  He is healthy, thriving, and has never been sick.  For a long period of time, he suffered from constipation and had hard dark stools (TMI).  But, I switched his formula to an organic toddler formula named “Baby’s Only Organic Toddler formula” and his stools have since changed to become softer and more normal (TMI).

Lately, I noticed that he is becoming more finnicky with completing his bottles and turning down breakfast. I read somewhere that this is normal.  I am concerned about his getting the right amount of calories each day and being prone to illness.  It is flu season.  I am wondering when he will need to take a multivitamin.  I also think that he is getting bored with what I give him.  He has had oatmeal with either applesauce, or a fruit blend, every morning for the past two weeks.  I think I need to come up with some more breakfast ideas.   I am full of questions and hoping that my parent bloggers will help me out in answering all of these questions.  I like getting different ideas from different perspectives.  God bless you all.

Play Dates

I have discovered that there is a blessing in play dates and play groups.  We have lived a rather secluded life here in the suburbs of Hartford.  I am a stay-at-home mom and rarely go out of the house except for doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping, driving my teenager to various events, and church.  So, my 11 month old has not really been exposed to other babies since birth.  I must admit, he has not reached a lot of his milestones at the fast rate of my oldest son.  I try very hard not to compare the two, but sometimes I cannot help it.  

So, I felt compelled to contact an old friend that I went on a mission trip with back in 2005.  We were both single back then, and now we are both married with children months apart.  We were invited to her home in Avon, CT for lunch and to bring our little boys together.  First of all, her home was absolutely beautiful.  It had so much character and was very large.  Meeting her little one was such a joy.  Even though he was 3 months older, my son was about 10 lbs heavier and 3 inches taller.  Her son crawled across the floor like he was on a skateboard.  He walked so fast I thought he would tip over and fall.  He moved chairs around like he worked for a moving company.  All the while, mine sat there on the floor and chewed on his toys and stared at my friend.  No type of prodding could get that boy to crawl or to creep. 

Then I noticed that her son was doing so well with his baby signing.  I was amazed.  She said they started at 8 months and he began signing at 12 months.  I was relieved.  I had been practicing with my son since he was six months old and got no response.  I was ready to throw in the towel and pack away my DVD’s.  She encouraged me to hang in there with it.

Her baby is off of the bottle.  He too had some challenges with the sippy cup.  But, after experimenting with many different types of cups, she managed to get him to drink everything from them.  My son was not impressed with it at all.  I was advised to do the same and to be patient. 

Finally, I got a wealth of ideas on how to feed my son new foods and how to save money.  She introduced me to feeding my son pasta with parmesan cheese, yogurt, cantalope, grapes, blueberries, tofu, soft cheese, etc.  I took notes like an eager student.  I learned a lot about shopping in consignment stores, shopping on Craigs List, and using Freecycle.  I see how wealthy people stay wealthy!

We ate quiche, vegetables, and quinoa.  We drank a green tea beverage.  We said our goodbyes and I felt good about our visit.  Low and behold, as soon as we got home, I put my son down on his mat to play and went into another room to remove clothing.  I heard noise, but I knew he was safe.  All of a sudden, I was startled by my son coming around the corner crawling.  I nearly flipped.  He never usually left his mat. 

It was time for dinner and I prepared his food and placed him in the high chair.  As usual, I put his bib on and said, “Eat,” and used the sign for it.  To my amazement, he signed “eat.”  I could not contain my joy.  I clapped my hands and kissed him and encouraged him to continue doing it.  Without thinking, I put a little water and juice in a sippy cup to put in front of him.  He usually knocks it down, but I still keep trying so that he would get used to seeing it.  I felt a little ambitious and put the tip in  his mouth.  He sucked on it.  I praised God right there in front of the baby.  He looked at me and smiled.  Has this little boy been holding out on me by being stubborn?  I really don’t think so.  I just think that he was exposed to another baby who was doing those things and he was just imitating behavior.  Do you mean I should have been crawling around on all fours?  should I have been sucking a sippy cup?  I believe so.

So, the lesson that I learned is that it is important to have group play or play dates.  If for nothing else, it is good for mothers to exchange ideas and be a support for one another.  The perk that one receives in return is the growth and surprises of our little ones.   They eventually learn to socialize and share too.  I am opening up my calendar as we speak and looking to schedule our next encounter.  I am also going to look into play groups in the area.  I would encourage all stay-at-home mother’s to get out and do with others if they are not all ready doing so.  God bless and thanks for reading.

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Brushing Baby’s Teeth

My baby boy has four of his incisors in.  He appeared to have been teething since he was 3 months old.  He did not get his first two teeth until he was 8 months, June 16th precisely.  The top two incisors are breaking through and we are finally over the hump of discomfort.  My husband is a dental therapist from Nigeria and has been cleaning his gums with salt water and a cotton swab since he was born.  Now, I was opposed to the salt water because I wanted him to be naive to the salt flavor.  I did not want him to absorb any of the salt and have physiological problems as a result.  He disagreed, so we agreed to disagree.  I received a dental hygiene kit for babies and toddlers as a baby shower gift.  In it was a device that looked like a thimble that you place on your finger and rub on the baby’s gums.  It did two things.  First, it stimulates blood flow to the gums.  And second, it cleaned the gums.  When there was obvious signs of teething, I switched to this toothbrush that did not have bristles, but flattened grooves.  I may not be describing  it right.  This gets the baby used to the idea of the potential of a toothbrush being in it’s mouth.  It stimulated blood flow, massaged the gums, and cleaned the surface.  Once the teeth broke through, I used the brush with the longer grooves.  I could hear the squeaky noise as it cleaned the teeth.  Once the molars and others come in, I will switch to the toddler toothbrush with real bristles. 

Now the controversy begins when you mention toothpaste.  The ADA recommends a fluoride toothpaste in children above the age of two.  However, if a child swallows more than a pea-size of toothpaste, it warrants a call to poison control.  I believe that fluoridated toothpaste should be used in a child that knows that you have to spit it out and not swallow it.  There is conflicting messages about the safety of the toothpaste.  I have decided that I will not let my child be an experiment.  So, we will use nothing but water for up to two years, at the least, baking soda.  I do have to research that first.  When my baby turns two, we will use training toothpaste.  This toothpaste is without fluoride and is an opportunity for me to teach my little one to spit it out.  Once he begins to spit and not swallow, we will switch to fluoride toothpaste when he turns six.  I believe that you can get training toothpaste from the grocery store.  You can also get it from a company of which I am a member and a an independent marketing executive.  This company is commited to providing healthy green products at affordable prices for it’s customers.  If you want to learn more, contact me at www.healthybizathome.org. 

I believe that if you start dental hygiene early, you will build a habit that will grow with your child.  My baby has never had a bottle lying down or in his crib.  He doesn’t get sugary drinks.  I clean his mouth regularly and I believe that we will avoid tooth decay that way.  Fluoride is a chemical.  I encourage all parents to take it seriously and to read up and be informed.  We all want to protect our children and prevent unnecessary exposure to things that could potentially harm them if consumed.  Knowledge is power!

Sippy Cup Issues

I was washing baby bottles in my kitchen the other night and noticed that the nipples looked cloudy.  I remembered reading on the package insert that they should be replaced after 3 months and realized that it had been four months.  Then I glanced over at my 10 month old who looks like a 15 month old that does not walk.  Would I really want to buy nipples and have him drinking from a bottle for another 3 months?  I did not.  He already had four teeth in his mouth and was showing signs of being very attached to the pacifier.  I decided to to go to Baby’s R Us and purchase sippy cups.  I put a lot of thought into my purchase.  I wanted it to be a smooth transition from the bottle to the cup.  I wanted it to be BPA-free.  I wanted it to be easy to clean.  I wanted it to be easy for the baby to hold.  After surveying the selection for about 15 minutes, I decided to purchase two types.  The first type was the Born Free sippy cup.  We were used to that brand.  The spout was a little hard, but it had removable handles.  The other brand was Nuby.  The spout was see-through and soft.  The cup was shaped like a figure eight.  I figured it would be very easy to hold.  I purchased the three cups and I must add that it cost me about $23.00.  It was not cheap. 

In all of my excitement, I hurried home in time for his next feeding.  After preparing the formula and pouring it into the bottle, I placed it on his high chair tray.  I wanted him to see it and get a feel for it before I attempted a new thing.  I fed him his solid food while he played with the cup.  He touched the spout and turned it upside down.  He banged it on the table top.  Fortunately it was a spill-proof cup.  Finally, he was finished with his food and I reclined his seat so that he could lean back and drink.  I eased the cup to his mouth.  Once the spout got in his mouth he frowned and removed it.  He studied the top of the cup.  He touched it.  He looked at it.  I put it in his mouth again and he used his tongue to push it out and began to cry.  Huge crocodile tears began to roll down his face.  I remember reading that I should not give up on the first try.  I wiped away the tears and placed the cup in front of him.  He looked over on the counter at all of the bottles that I was preparing to pack away.  I am thankful that I did not throw away the nipples like I had planned.  His crying quieted a little and I made another attempt to give him the milk that he wanted.  Once again, his tongue thrusted the spout out of his mouth and he began to wail like the world was ending.  I realized that he was not ready to be weaned from the bottle yet.  I tried the sippy cup when he was 6 months because that was what the book stated I should do.  It did not work then.  I tried filling it with cold water, which he loves to drink from the bottle or a glass.  It did not work. 

Tomorrow, I am going to go and buy replacement nipples for his bottles.  He is only 10 months and I will not traumatize him to meet a milestone that someone else thinks should be met.  However, I won’t be walking around with a two year old sucking on a bottle or a pacifier either.  I will seek out information from other mothers who had issues with weaning their babies.  And I will continue to let the sippy cup be apart of our daily routine so that he will find that it is a friend and not the enemy.  I would love to hear what other parents are dealing with regarding weaning their babies.  Thanks for reading and be blessed!

Promises, Promises

I have been writing a lot about my 10 month old baby these past few months.  Today, I am shifting the focus to my big boy.  He is 15 years old and is a great kid.  He is not without his quirks, but you have to love him.  It would be strange to me to have a perfectly behaving teenager.  I say that because it seems like yesterday that I used to be one.  At any rate, this young man is desperate to earn money because that is typically the only way that he will ever get any.  So, I was seeking for some projects that he could do around the house, especially since it is on the market now.  My husband and I were told that we needed to paint the deck.  That did not seem like a big deal until we found out that it had to be scraped, sanded, treated for moss and algae and then painted when the weather forecast would permit.  I knew that we did not have the disposable income to pay what the job was worth.  My son asked for the job with the help of a friend and enthusiastically got on the job.  He was promised $100 at the end of the job done in excellence. 

He and his friend began scraping the chipped paint off of the surface of the deck.  Then they worked on the sanding.  And as scheduled, the treated the deck for moss and algae.  Then we had thunderstorms several days in a row.  Then they went away to a men’s retreat with his friends church.  So, my husband decided based on that alone that they were not serious about the job and took over.  Now I am not really putting my husband on blast like that.  I just want to emphasize that is how he is.  Nobody can do it better than he can.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the time.  The boys are upset and disappointed that they were not given an opportunity to do what they needed to earn the money.   I was upset because I feel as though you should be serious about keeping promises.  Now, I would have been riding them hard about making sure that each step was done in excellence before moving to the next.  But my dear husband did not allow them that opportunity.  So, now I have two discouraged teenagers on my hand who think that this man I married is a mean old grouch.  How in the world do you prevent that in the future?

1. Be clear in your intentions and expectations upfront.  Put it in writing if you have to.
2. Keep the lines of communication open. 
3. When dealing with teenagers, use every opportunity as a ‘teachable moment.’  This is an excellent opportunity to teach life skills and work ethic.

That is all I have to say.  I have decided to give my son another opportunity to earn the money.  We are in the midst of a move and there is some packing and decluttering that need to take place in the garage.  This may mean several trips to the landfill.  It is a dirty job, but someone has to do it!

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